Random Bits of Detritus

Left, Introducing the Postal Service's new mascot, Bitchy Banana, reminding you to "get your shit 2gether." Right, 'Keeping a collection of limbless women' is another way of looking at my PEZ collection.

Hubris for sale, left, $12.99 at Hy-Vee. Right, Woman, Man, Woman in the Wind, Toddler in Wheelchair.

Left, Putting your dick in places it doesn't belong. Then – BOOM! – alternate timeline. Now you're Mr. Monopoly's bitch, Captain. Right, Clearance-priced All Stars.